The Monty Python Plan



 It had started as a bit of fun. Finals were done, snow was falling, the house was decorated, Toby was off work and, tomorrow, the hordes of family were descending for Christmas and New Year's Eve. Perfect time for some wine and comfort movies curled up on the couch, right? So I chose one of our go to comfort flicks, Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

When we first got together, we started a Monty Python tradition. For each showing of a movie or tv episode, we are only allowed to quote the lines along with our chosen characters instead of both of us quoting everything. We change who plays who each time, because really, we both want to be the Knights who say Ni or the French castle guards who "Fart in your general direction"! Who doesn't?

Tonight, Toby's first choice was Sir Galahad. Toby playing Galahad always makes me laugh as he is in no way close to being Toby the "Pure", more like Toby the Perve. But, I like him that way! We match!

And then we get to Scene 11 and the Tale of Sir Galahad. How had I forgotten Scene 11 when choosing roles? In my best voice, I quoted (with a few requisite changes) along with Dingo "Oh, wicked, bad, naughty, evil Zoot! Oh, he is a naughty person, and he must pay the penalty -- and here in Castle Anthrax, we have but one punishment for setting alight the grail-shaped beacon. You must tie him down on a bed and spank him!"

I realized this was a cunningly executed plan when Sir Galahad stopped watching the screen and started looking only at me in that way that makes me melt off the couch and forget that there is more to the world than him.

The women on screen and I were demanding a spanking followed by oral sex when the screen when black with a flick of a button. My knight in shining armor lifted me off the couch and over his knee as he changed roles and movies from Sir Galahad to Farm Boy Wesley with his simple "as you wish."

As he lowered my pants, all I could think was that I love it when a plan comes together.

Corners

WITH BRAD AND TOBY

 Corners are a place to get lost. To hide from the world and from problems. We tried corners. And I tried, honest I did. But, there were these cracks that just needed to be counted. And faded lines to trace where our painting didn't quite finish (and that paint fight was HIS fault not mine, thank you very much.) And really, when you can disappear into your head with protection on multiple sides, the corner is not as conducive to "thinking about what you did wrong" as HE would want.

So we tried other alternatives. Sitting on the bed resulted in naps. The chair was a bit too close to the bookcase. We are not going to even discuss the incident in the kitchen! (Again, not my fault!) Toby finally found the window. Or more accurately the floor under the window. With Toby always nearby and me looking into the room and not getting distracted by anything, I could do it. I could sit. And calm down. And start to breath freely and not as if there was an elephant sitting on my chest. And think.

And so, here I sit. Until, finally, I relent.

"Toby? I'm ready to talk."